{"id":16726,"date":"2017-08-13T17:46:53","date_gmt":"2017-08-14T00:46:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?p=16726"},"modified":"2020-03-21T18:39:36","modified_gmt":"2020-03-22T01:39:36","slug":"of-mops-and-buffalo-jerky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?p=16726","title":{"rendered":"Of Mops and Buffalo Jerky"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was in Bed Bath &#038; Beyond this afternoon buying a mop so I could clean my kitchen&#8212;truly exciting stuff.<\/p>\n<p>To describe my state of mind whilst buying said mop, I had been shopping at Target minutes earlier to get razor cartridges and a large container of liquid hand soap, but decided not to buy any of the mops there because they were all really cheap and of exceptionally poor quality.  I actually stood in the mop aisle for five to ten minutes, and kept going back and forth on what I should do:  <em>&#8220;It&#8217;s just a mop, who cares?  They&#8217;re inexpensive and I&#8217;ll buy another one if this one breaks.&#8221;<\/em> and then <em>&#8220;Oh my gawd&#8230; I really hate shopping for mops.  This is the worst thing ever!  I never want to do this again for as long as I live!!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I became so confounded that I left Target and went to Bed Bath and Beyond in hopes that I would find a better mop.  Fortunately, I was able to get one that wasn&#8217;t 100% junk.  It came in at whopping $29.99&#8212;almost double what most of the mops cost at Target&#8212;but it seemed to be slightly sturdy, and I am able to take the scrubber pad off and wash it in my washer machine when it starts to get gross.<\/p>\n\n\t\t<style type=\"text\/css\">\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div data-carousel-extra='{&quot;blog_id&quot;:1,&quot;permalink&quot;:&quot;http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?p=16726&quot;}' id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-16726 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?attachment_id=16730'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000013-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" data-attachment-id=\"16730\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?attachment_id=16730\" data-orig-file=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000013.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"3000,2899\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Garbage Mop at Target\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000013-1024x990.jpg\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?attachment_id=16732'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014-768x768.jpg 768w, http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-attachment-id=\"16732\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?attachment_id=16732\" data-orig-file=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1500,1500\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Slightly Less-Shitty Mop at Bed Bath &amp;#038; Beyond\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000014-1024x1024.jpg\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?attachment_id=16734'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000015-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000015-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000015-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000015.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-attachment-id=\"16734\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?attachment_id=16734\" data-orig-file=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000015.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"600,600\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Dried Buffalo Bits\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/miscellaneous-000015.jpg\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt><\/dl><br style=\"clear: both\" \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p>When I was standing in line to pay for this slightly less-shitty version of what I was looking for, I saw packages of buffalo jerky hanging off the side of an endcap.  After the ordeal with the mop, I found something unusual about this particular <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Impulse_purchase\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">impulse-item<\/a> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/wp-content\/uploads\/icon-external-link-12x12.png\" alt=\"icon-external-link-12x12\" width=\"12\" height=\"12\" \/> , and kept focusing on it.  I&#8217;m not a huge meat eater, but I do have a small weakness for jerky.  I have also noticed buffalo jerky in various stores many times before, but never purchased it for whatever reason.  I then thought, &#8220;Why not buy buffalo jerky today?  I deserve a treat after all I have been through&#8230; and hell, it might even take the edge off of all this business with the damned mop.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then I realized why I have never eaten buffalo before:  I have never actually seen a buffalo in real life.  Are they clean animals?  What do they smell like?  What do they eat?  Is it okay to eat an animal that I have never seen before?  Buffalo are supposed to be a lot like cattle, and I have seen lots of cows, so maybe that makes it okay to eat them..?  But wait, I don&#8217;t eat red meat anymore.  Is this regular buffalo or organic buffalo?  Wouldn&#8217;t all buffalo be organic, even if it doesn&#8217;t say so on the packaging?  <em>OMG I&#8217;m thinking about this way too much.  Aaahhhh!  Get me out of this horrible place!!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So it&#8217;s another day without peace of mind because Target peddles garbage and BB&#038;B pretends to be fancy and so it doesn&#8217;t sell plain old beef jerky.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was in Bed Bath &#038; Beyond this afternoon buying a mop so I could clean my kitchen&#8212;truly exciting stuff. To describe my state of mind whilst buying said mop, I had been shopping at Target minutes earlier to get &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/?p=16726\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[725],"tags":[479,636],"class_list":["post-16726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-journal","tag-junk-food","tag-psychobabble"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3DQCb-4lM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16726"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16726\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16736,"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16726\/revisions\/16736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/unwisdom.org\/chadspace\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}