Author Archives: Chad Philip

Double-Standards and -Edges

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Have you ever wondered why Prostate Cancer Awareness doesn’t receive as much attention as Breast Cancer Awareness? I think I have a pretty good idea what’s going on:

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When was the last time anybody looked at an enlarged prostate and got excited? (I want to say it’s never happened, but there are always a few sickos out there for anything and everything.) I’m pretty sure this is why the world outwardly celebrates boobies for the entire month of October, yet Prostate Cancer Awareness happens for something like 45 minutes in September, or maybe it’s March—really, who the fuck knows?

Breasts don’t have any undesirable qualities, as far as I can tell, but prostates… blech! I don’t even want to even think about it.

I Keep On Going, Guess I’ll Never Know Why

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Life’s Been Good icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 08 from the But Seriously, Folks… LP by Joe Walsh icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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I have a mansion, but forget the price
Ain’t never been there, they tell me it’s nice
I live in hotels and tear out the walls
I have accountants that pay for it all

They say I’m crazy, but I have a good time
I’m just looking for clues at the scene of the crime

Life’s been good to me so far

My Maserati does one-eighty-five
I lost my license and now I don’t drive
I have a limo, I ride in the back
I lock the doors in case I’m attacked

I make hit records, my fans they can’t wait
They write me letters and tell me I’m great
I got me an office, gold records on the wall
Just leave a message, maybe I’ll call

Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through
Everybody say “I’m cool”, “He’s cool!”
I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do

Life’s been good to me so far

I go to parties, sometimes until four
It’s hard to leave when you can’t find the door
It’s tough to handle this fortune and fame
Everybody is so different, I haven’t changed

They say I’m lazy, but it takes all my time
Everybody say “Oh, yeah”, “Oh, yeah!”
I keep on going, guess I’ll never know why

Life’s been good to me so far

…

(Uh oh, here comes a flock of wah-wahs)

Film at Eleven

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Excerpt from the graphic novel Batman: The Dark Knight Returns icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 by Frank Miller icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12

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New Perspectives on an 86 MPH Fastball

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I shrugged off the impact off like it was no big deal, hinting to the crowd through spurious body language that any other pitcher throwing at the same speed might have actually hurt me.

This is how men play sports, by the way.