Maybe I’m reading into it the wrong way, but this video somehow seems to suggest that all we have to do to clean up our beaches after an oil spill is pour a shit-ton of Dawn dish soap all over the place.
There’s just no way this ad could have been run in 2010 during Deepwater Horizon , or even in 2011 or 2012. But 2016? For some reason six years is enough time in America for a soap company to invite people to clean away their unpleasant memories of environmental catastrophe through the purchasing of its products.
Only a few people have ever openly talked to me about this peculiar little website of mine. Interestingly (and perhaps unsurprisingly) this includes most of my friends and family members. Once in a blue moon a fun conversation comes about that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, but most of the time ChadSpace is resigned to being a transparent elephant in the room—and if it’s not there already, it likely will be someday. I suppose this is natural though: we have so many of these invisible beasts following us around in our day-to-day lives anyway… what’s one more?
I have gotten a few gifts IRL from people who quietly peruse the site and were brave enough to admit their enthusiasm for it, such as this box of Malt-O-Meal and package of Pilot 0.38mm black-ink pens!
This made me wonder: what kinds of gifts might I be able to generate through ChadSpace that would never exist otherwise? So I figured it was only natural for me to compile a list of some of the things that should be gifted or transacted to me in the coming days/weeks/months/years:
- Smilebit brand + related IP and development assets
- Controlling interest in Sega Games Co., Ltd.
- Minority interest in Rare
- Looney Tunes
- Ogre Battle IP and development assets
- Jackson/Charvel Guitars
- Randall Amplification
- Shadowrun IP
- Thin Lizzy master recordings
- Legacy of Kain IP and development assets
I would have listed more, but I don’t want to come across as seeming unreasonable. I figure that this will serve as a good starting point though, as there is still quite a bit of work left to do.
Chrono Trigger is considered to be one of the best video games of the 90s. It’s a role-playing game (RPG) made by the same company that produced the incredibly popular Final Fantasy franchise. The goal of the game, in a nutshell, is to travel through time and alter the course of history to prevent cataclysm. The player visits many different versions of the Earth as he or she leaps from one epoch to another, including a post-apocalyptic world where people are forced to live in cities surrounded by protective bubbles.
These bubbles are presumably to create pockets of habitation on a planet that is so ruined it can no longer sustain life. Clearly, things aren’t going so well: it’s the type of scene that suggests everyone consumes double-helpings of soylent green for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Before the calamity that would destroy the planet, people lived in a verdant paradise, where the oceans glistened in their azure purity and the mountaintops towered vigilantly over the land. Posterity seemed ensured.
Yet there was something very unusual about the people of this land: in the futuristic society that existed immediately before the destruction of the planet, everyone chose to isolate themselves from nature and erect protective bubbles around their highly pollutant cities.
It is impossible not to be vexed by the peculiar sense of priority these people placed on nature. In fact, this exemplifies a particularly extreme form of environmentalism that is very rarely practiced with any degree of success: where humans resolve to endure their own waste. The people of Chrono Trigger were progressive indeed—so much so that they were going to destroy themselves before they allowed their actions to hurt the planet. It’s truly a stroke of bad luck that the alien parasite Lavos, who unceremoniously crash-landed in the year 65,000,000 B.C., was about to emerge and lay waste to the land.