Talking to a Ghost

What a Shame About Me icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 02 from the Two Against Nature LP by Steely Dan icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Steely Dan's "Two Against Nature" album art. [Formatted]

I was grinding through my day gig—stacking cutouts at The Strand—when in walks Franny from NYU, we were quite an item back then
We talked about her films and shows and CDs, and I don’t know what else
She said, “Yeah, Hollywood’s been good to me, but tell me how about yourself?”

“I’m still working on that novel, but I’m just about to quit.
Because I’m worrying about the future now, or maybe this is it.
It’s not all that I thought it would be.”

“What a shame about me”

She said, “Talk to me, do you ever see anybody else from our old crew?
Bobby Dakine won the Bunsen Prize and now he’s coming out with something new.
Alan owns a chain of Steamer Heavens and Barry is a software king.
Somebody told me in the early 80’s you were gonna be the next big thing.”

“Well now, that was just a rumor, but I guess I’m doing fine.
Three weeks out of the rehab, living one day at a time.
Sneaking up on the new century.”

“What a shame about me”

I’m thinking of a major Jane Street sunrise and the goddess on the fire escape was you

We both ran out of small talk, the connection seemed to go dead
I was about to say, “Hey, have a nice life,” when she touched my hand and said:
“I just had this great idea—it could be very cool—why don’t we grab a cab to my hotel and make believe we’re back at our old school.”

I said, “Babe, you look delicious and you’re standing very close, but like this is Lower Broadway and you’re talking to a ghost.
Take a good look it’s easy to see, what a shame about me.”

“What a shame about me”

Turn the Sad Song Up On the Radio

MK Ultra icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 02 from the Juggernaut: Alpha LP by Periphery icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )
“MK Ultra” Song Lyrics icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12

Periphery's "Juggernaut: Alpha" album art. [Formatted]

Heavy Heart icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 03 from the Juggernaut: Alpha LP)
“Heavy Heart” Song Lyrics icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12
The Event icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 04 from the Juggernaut: Alpha LP)

I Just Made You Up to Hurt Myself

Only icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 08 from the With Teeth LP by Nine Inch Nails icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

I’m becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away—well, you might say I’m losing focus
Kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I can see right through myself

Less concerned about fitting into the world—your world, that is
Because it doesn’t really matter anymore
No it doesn’t really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore

Yes, I am alone, but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell, I think maybe it’s because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself

And it worked
Yes, it did

There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me

Only

The tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling like I just knew it was something bad
I couldn’t leave it alone—picking at the scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut, but I climbed through

Now I’m somewhere I am not supposed to be
And I can see things I know I really shouldn’t see
And now I know why
And now I know why
Things aren’t as pretty on the inside

There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me

Only

Shine the Light of Truthful Loving Trust

Unseen icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 06 from the eponymous LP by The Haunted icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

The Haunted's "Unseen" album cover. [Formatted]

Familiar as it may seem, I wish I had never been here before
The reccurring pattern of dysfunction: all the power and control
It’s not as if I’m new to any of this, but I wish there was a way to reach your inside and set you free

And so it stays unseen, under the surface
Right out of touch
Right out of reach
And so it stays unseen
Until we shine the light of truthful loving trust, it’s never going to change

You were the one I was supposed to turn to when I needed someone
I realize that I’m powerless, but at least I’m not alone
So turn your screws on any which way because I’m not playing along
You carry this like a trophy when you could have been so strong
But I am not to judge you anymore, I promise you

And so it stays unseen, under the surface
Right out of touch
Right out of reach
And so it stays unseen
Until we shine the light of truthful loving trust, it’s never going to change