Musician’s Humor

Ana Vidovic Plays Asturias icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (posted by SiccasGuitars icon-external-link-12x12 )

I’ve always had this peculiar S&M fantasy where a smokin’ hot girl guitar player tells me that my vibrato sucks in front of a large crowd of people, and then everyone starts laughing and jeering at me.

I’m sure Ms. Vidovic is much too nice to ever do something like this, but she has everything else dialed in to make this desire of mine a reality.

Tell It to the Breadline

Get Lucky icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 09 from the eponymous LP by Mark Knopfler icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

I’m better with my muscles than I am with my mouth
I work the fairgrounds in the summer or go pick fruit down south

And when I feel them chilly winds, where the weather goes I’ll follow
Pack up my traveling things and go with the swallows
And I might get lucky now and then

You win some
You might get lucky now and then
You win some

I wake up every morning keeping an eye on what I spent
Gotta think about eating
Gotta think about paying the rent

I always think it’s funny
It gets me every time
I wonder about the happiness and money
Tell it to the breadline
But you might get lucky now and then

You win some
You might get lucky now and then
You win some

Now I’m rambling through this meadow happy as a man can be
Think I’ll just lay me down under this old tree
On and on we go through this old world of shuffling
If you got a truffle, dog, you can go truffling
And you might get lucky now and then

You win some
You might get lucky now and then
You win some

Watch Out Boy, She’ll Chew You Up

Maneater icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 01 from the H20 LP by Hall & Oates icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

She’ll only come out at night
The lean and hungry type
Nothing is new, I’ve seen her here before
Watching and waiting
She is sitting with you, but her eyes are on the door

So many have paid to see what you think you’re getting for free
The woman is wild: a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar
Money is the matter
If you’re in it for love you ain’t gonna get too far

Here she comes
Watch out boy, she’ll chew you up
She’s a maneater

I wouldn’t if I were you
I know what she can do
She’s deadly, man, and she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter
The beauty is there, but a beast is in the heart

Here she comes
Watch out boy, she’ll chew you up
She’s a maneater

My Mother Nature and My Father Time

Dream Beach icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 06 from the Torched LP by Michael Hedges icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Michael Hedges' "Torched" album cover. [Formatted]

Fusion of the Five Elements icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 03 from the Torched LP)
Rough Wind in Oklahoma icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 11 from the Torched LP)