It’s a long-standing tradition for the sitting president of the United States to leave a parting letter in the Oval Office for the American elected to take his or her place. [That makes sense.] It’s a letter meant to share what we know, what we’ve learned, and what small [small?] wisdom may help our successor bear the great responsibility [!] that comes with the highest office in our land, [he must not be talking about elevation here] and the leadership of the free world.

     But before I leave my note for our 45th president, [no shit, who wants to talk to that asshole?] I wanted to say one final thank you for the honor of serving as your 44th. [Aawwww, that's so sweet of you!] Because all that I’ve learned in my time in office, I’ve learned from you. [Really..?] You made me a better President, and you made me a better man. [I did?]

     Throughout these eight years, you have been the source of goodness, resilience, and hope from which I’ve pulled strength. [You know that I haven't always liked you, right?] I’ve seen neighbors and communities take care of each other during the worst economic crisis of our lifetimes. [Yes, but when have people not done this?] I have mourned with grieving families searching for answers — and found grace in a Charleston church. [Haha! That dude is toast!]

     I’ve taken heart from the hope of young graduates and our newest military officers. [Yup.] I’ve seen our scientists help a paralyzed man regain his sense of touch, [mmm hmmm...] and wounded warriors once given up for dead walk again. [Sweet!] I’ve seen Americans whose lives have been saved because they finally have access to medical care, [yeah, sort of] and families whose lives have been changed because their marriages are recognized as equal to our own. [Yeah, but we should have just removed the word "marriage" from all federal legal documents, so you fucked this one up, chief.] I’ve seen the youngest of children remind us through their actions and through their generosity of our obligations to care for refugees, [give them a little time, that'll change] or work for peace, [huh?] and, above all, to look out for each other. [I don't look out for others.]

     I’ve seen you, the American people, [yeah, yeah] in all your decency [ugh], determination, [hmmmplf..!] good humor, [HrmmPhmmlfl.!] and kindness. [BLARFFF!] And in your daily acts of citizenship, I’ve seen our future unfolding. [Did you see that?!!]

     All of us, regardless of party, [gimmee a break] should throw ourselves into that work — the joyous work of citizenship. [Does volunteering at Amway count?] Not just when there’s an election, [once every four years is not enough?] not just when our own narrow interest is at stake, [how dare you say my interests are narrow!] but over the full span of a lifetime. [WTF man? I still haven't had a chance to watch the last season of Game of Thrones.]

     I’ll be right there with you every step of the way. [...]

     And when the arc of progress seems slow, [yes, it has been pretty slow lately now that you mention it] remember: America is not the project of any one person. The single most powerful word in our democracy is the word ‘We.’ ‘We the People.’ ‘We shall overcome.’ ["Divided we fall, united we stand." Isn't that how it goes?]