She Keeps a Silver Armadillo Well Hidden Beneath Her Pillow

Tattoo (Giving it All Up for Love) icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 04 from the Solo in Soho LP by Phil Lynott icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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She comes home at five-thirty
And though her clothes are never dirty, she’ll change them just the same
She likes to keep her name

She’s giving it all up for love
Tattoo

She’s got a tattoo on her tummy
And her Mummy plays gin rummy
You might think it’s funny, but she’s making all the money

She’s giving it all up for love
Tattoo

She keeps a silver armadillo well hidden beneath her pillow
Now some think it’s a cupie doll, but they’ve got such crazy minds

She’s giving it all up for love
Tattoo

She has a unique technique for making me obsolete, complete
She needs a beat
She needs it sweet
She needs it neat

She’s giving it all up for love
Tattoo

I Hear They Only Lay You Down

Feed the Horses icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 03 from the Maps of Non-Existent Places LP by Thank You Scientist icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

You’re feeling like you’re going down
You’re throwing in the towel, you’re through
Don’t tell me how it’s going down

So come on a little closer
I’ll take you from Burden Avenue
I won’t be your burden ever

So far I can’t tell anything apart
Where’s the love you’re after?
So far I can’t tell anything

Calling out your name, I hear they only lay you down
Do what you have to make it right, right
I won’t be your holy roller
Everywhere I go it rains on me
Carry on with your own life
When I tell you you’re the one and you run like hell

You’re feeling like you’re going down
You’re sinking ship is big enough for two
Tell me you’re alone, I will be the one who is there for you

So come on a little closer
I’ll take you from Burden Avenue
I won’t be your burden ever

So far I can’t tell anything apart
Where’s the love you’re after?
So far I can’t tell anything

Calling out your name, I hear they only lay you down
Do what you have to make it right, right
I won’t be your holy roller
Everywhere I go it rains on me
Carry on with your own life
When I tell you you’re the one

We’re running out of time

By the way, feed your horses and I’ll be sure to find the fire behind your eyes
By the way, feed your horses and my willingness to fight
By the way, feed your horses and I’ll be on your side

I’ll tell you you’re the one who opened up my eyes
If you try again to love then I’ll be on your side
You’ll never know if you don’t try
You’ll never know if you’re alive

Calling out your name, and run
Calling out your name

Calling out your name, I hear they only lay you down
Do what you have to make it right, right
I won’t be your holy roller
Everywhere I go it rains on me

I’ll tell you you’re the one who’s opened up my eyes
I’ll show you all the things you bring into my life

Riot Volume

Rock ‘n roll and heavy metal concerts are terrible. They have always been terrible and they’re getting worse. They’re so loud you can’t hear anything except a prescribed hours-long barrage of semi-dizzying percussive blasts, which are caused nearly as much by the guitars, bass, and vocals as by the drum set. If a person doesn’t wear ear plugs, his ears are ringing for the next two or three days—perhaps longer. If he does wear ear plugs, everything comes across sounding muffled and unarticulated.

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How the hell did it become acceptable practice to wear ear plugs to music performances anyway? Isn’t that the same as strapping on leg braces before going skiing, or ordering non-alcoholic beer at a brewpub? Don’t people go to concerts to experience the music? If the vast majority of people cannot properly experience the music, with or without earplugs, how could they possibly be enjoying themselves?

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There are also a lot of sweaty, stinky SOBs at these concerts too… and the tickets can be absurdly overpriced. Here’s a prime example: it costs between $145 and $366 to see a geriatric version of AC/DC icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12. This is a band that hasn’t released a good rock ‘n roll album since around the time John Lennon was assassinated, yet people are willing to blow a car payment and risk a case of tinnitus for one more chance to “hear” classic songs from a bygone era resurrected in a live setting. Crikey!

It’s a Habit Worth Forming

Dancing in the Moonlight (It’s Caught Me in Its Spotlight) icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 05 from the Bad Reputation LP by Thin Lizzy icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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When I passed you in the doorway, you took me with a glance
I should have took that last bus home, but I asked you for a dance
Now we go steady to the pictures, I always get chocolate stains on my pants
And my father he’s going crazy, he says I’m living in a trance

I’m dancing in the moonlight
It’s caught me in its spotlight
Dancing in the moonlight
On this long hot summer night

It’s three o’clock in the morning and I’m on the streets again
I disobeyed another warning, I should have been in by ten
Now I won’t get out until Sunday, I’ll have to say I stayed with friends
But it’s a habit worth forming, if it means to justify the end

Dancing in the moonlight
It’s caught me in its spotlight
Dancing in the moonlight
On this long hot summer night

And I’m walking home
The last bus has long gone
But I’m dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight
It’s caught me in its spotlight
Dancing in the moonlight
On this long hot summer night


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