I’m thinking about starting my own company and calling it the Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear Corporation. The mascot will be a bear named Bert (AKA Fuzzy Wuzzy) and he will sport a healthy, benignly charismatic grin on his Disney-approved face. We will take hundreds of pictures of Bert with underprivileged school-children and strategically share them with our customers, most of whom would not think of themselves as customers because they never pay a shiny copper penny for anything that we offer. Bert will serve an instrumental role in our exceptionally sophisticated and equally clever business maneuverings where we give everything away for free and somehow make billions of dollars in profits every quarter.


While any normal person would be inclined to call this plan “half-baked”, my fellow investors and I know it will not only succeed, but that others will be eating double helpings of crow for the decades to come.