Sometimes, when you buy a new monitor from Dell, it doesn’t power on. So the next step is, naturally, to send it back and ask for a replacement.
However, sometimes, when you receive a replacement monitor from Dell, it comes in a different sort of box that doesn’t have the same markings as the box that a new monitor comes in (red flag numero uno).
Then, sometimes, when you open this different sort of box, you find a monitor inside that looks like it was run over by a forklift.
This happened to me. To add insult to injury, the different sort of box the monitor was shipped in was completely undamaged, meaning that the monitor could not possibly have sustained any of the corresponding impact(s) during shipment.
Perhaps there are trained gorillas running Dell’s Returns Centers? One of them took time out of his workday to carefully pack a completely destroyed monitor for shipping back to an already pissed off customer. All the requisite cardboard and foam packaging materials were there, including video and electrical cables, installation discs, manuals, and other miscellaneous items.
What’s most confounding about an experience like this is that, due to Dell’s overwhelming presence in the marketplace as a computer hardware manufacturer, it is not really reasonable for a technologist to write off Dell products. In my case, I get to try harder not to buy Dell products, which will sometimes be an exercise in futility. In fact, it could potentially create further disservices to myself and to others I would purchase hardware for, resulting in even greater losses in productivity.
Sadly, it’s pretty much a certainty that at some point in the not-too-distant future I will need to purchase something that Dell makes. And to further contribute to the mounting dismay, there is a good probability that this item will also be ordered in bulk—that is, quantities in at least the dozens, but possibly hundreds.
reruns are coming on in a half-hour, and it’s about time to start planning my next trip to the kegerator.
(track 02 from the Wonderful Wonderful LP by 
