Trolling the Interweb, Volume 1

So one of my favorite things to do back in the day was go to the Megadeth.com forums while knocking back a couple of beers and post zany shit to see how people would react. The idea of so-called rock ‘n rollers and metalheads spending a bunch of their free time talking to each other on an Internet forum always struck me as funny and odd, and I just had to do something with it.

In general, heavy metal forums were (and probably still are) one of the many cesspools of the Internet, but the Megadeth forums were well moderated and had an unusually high number of quality members. It was never allowed to sink into the standard free-for-all for numbskulls and degenerates, which was happening pretty much everywhere else. My guess is that bandleader Dave Mustaine was hip to the Internet and paid more attention than most rockstars to technology and the connection it created to his fans—pretty cool stuff.

There were A LOT of quality posts from me on this forum—wowie zowie did I have some fun! I was also “in character” 95% of the time, and only occasionally posted serious responses to serious topics that deserved authentic input. Some people were able to piece together what was going on, others were in on the prank immediately, and a small handful got upset, but it was astonishing to me just how many had no clue.

I am sharing two threads here—floyd rose piece of SHIT and angry faces practicing—because the second is directly related to the first. Both were in the “Musicians” section of the forums, hence the musician’s-talk that’s going on in almost every post. I’m pretty sure these are among the first contributions I made after joining the site, so at this point I hadn’t developed a history on the boards and the other members had no frame of reference.

My handle is Ghidra. All posts were reformatted to fit here, but are completely unedited aside from a mostly accurate translation of emojis.

Oh, and can you spot the Newheart reference? Yes? Good… fortunately someone else did too.

Topic: floyd rose piece of SHIT

Ghidra

Hi. I replaced my low e string of my guitar with an e string from a bass guitar. I thought it would be kind of fun. When I was in the middle of playing angel of death the floyd rose shot off the guitar and knocked me out cold for two hours. Ive been smoking weed for 16 hours straight now cause my head hurts fukcing bad!!

just wanted to make sure no one else tries that… it aint god damned worth it@!

Manimal

Well, then don’t do that. ?

Actually, I have a Floyd Rose on my old Kramer Baretta and I hate that thing. It sits too high and I just don’t like it. I’ve played on Kahlers that felt more natural and had a lower profile and didn’t make my strings feel loose as the Floyd did.

SeanM

Wow. That would’ve looked really weird.
Anyway, since you were knocked it, you may wanna go to the minor injury clinic or ER just to get a quick check of your head. The weed you’re smoking could be masking an injury, which could be a bad thing. Especially if you’re in some serious pain.

? headbanging ?

-sean

CreepingDeath84

How the fuck did the Floyd come off the guitar??

CD84

chaoslord

Are the three of you really this dense ? A bass low E wouldn’t fit in the bridge saddle or the tuning pegs of a guitar. Much less have enough force to rip a bridge off.

As for the retard who posted this, take your worthless crap elsewhere.

Mike Linkletter
SOLE SURVIVOR

Holy Warhead

Take it easy dude.

So what if it was a lie, as long as he only included himself in it. Who says the string even went through the tuning peg? Maybe he tied it around the entire headstock…

That must have looked funny though ?

BriWarsco

Yeah…I use all 4 strings from a bass on my Rose….of course i had to get 5 industrial strength springs and beef up the spring connector and put some heavy duty bolts to replace the adjustment screws…..just gotta watch those divebombs as the tremelo shoots back into place with the potential of causing broken wrists and forearms……I also clamp 3 large 10 pound C-Clamps to the head adding a beefy 30 pounds to the head of the guitar and giving me some outragesouly long sustain……actually, I cannot get the axe to STOP sustaining now……and talk about intonation problems, had to file out the grooves in the saddles and put longer adjusters in them just to get it close..of course I play way down in A….let’s not even discuss the extreme action….(gotta do hammer-on’s with a real fucking hammer and shit…..string bends are accomplished via crowbar….)

King V 1

It’s getting deep!

Hey Manimal, What about the Baretta? Is the Floyd not level with the body or do you just prefer a recessed mount? Do you know what year it is? What about graphics?(they are the only bolt-on guitars I own)

King V 1

loner92

That’s what you get for putting a bass string on a guitar. What the hell were you thinking?

MegaGoo

you crackhead. you’re not even supposed to put slightly different gauge strings on a floyd rose without adjustments and resetting intonation

and how would you be playing with the bridge (probably) about to snap off even when its not being played. and why would you even WANT to put a bass string on a guitar. i would think the string would sit right along the neck and not be able to be played. or at best, rattle heavily on every note. if you “played” angel of death like that, i’d use another word or rephrase. like maybe made noise on some kinda of stringed instrument while listening to angel of death.

man
hahaha

eddie

Thief

quote:
——
Originally posted by chaoslord:
Are the three of you really this dense ? A bass low E wouldn’t fit in the bridge saddle or the tuning pegs of a guitar. Much less have enough force to rip a bridge off.
As for the retard who posted this, take your worthless crap elsewhere.

Mike Linkletter
SOLE SURVIVOR
——

Yup agreed Methinks this little boy wants to impress us with his lil ol guitar and the fact that he smoked weed..

Ghidra

quote:
——
Originally posted by chaoslord:
Are the three of you really this dense ? A bass low E wouldn’t fit in the bridge saddle or the tuning pegs of a guitar. Much less have enough force to rip a bridge off.
——

the same thing happened to my cousin darryl when put he bass strings on his giutar. accepot he didn’t have a floyd rose and it didn’t hit him in the head.

lucky little prick

ImetMegadeth

Does your cousing Daryl have a brother named Daryl?

Topic: angry faces practicing

Ghidra

i was wondering how to get the best pisst off look for when Im playing my guitar. I was sitting in front of my mirror with my guitar and trying all thise diffrent face poses-orwhatever. I couldnt get any good ones!

My bruise on my head from my floyd rose makes me look pretty pissed off already-so at lest that helps.

GSoloist

Ok, this is what you do… Take a pair of wire cutters, ok? Stand infront of the mirror… Now! That the wire cutters and cut as many of your guitar strings as fast as you can… Ok, this is the important part… Remember who told you to do this… You’ll be making some of the best angry faces ever!

L8r!
GSoloist

Ghidra

They wouldnt cut! Now there all jagged and crooked and I cant play on them anymore. God damn walmart scissors.

Mechanic502

LOL…you actually sit in front of the mirror with your guitar making faces? That is fucking lame! LOL!!!!!!

noiseterrorist

Genuine anger usually helps.

?

GSoloist

Ok, this works everytime… If you have a girlfriend, pay a complete stranger to have sex with her and watch… Do this in front of the mirror if possible… (Hell, if you have one and she’s hot, email me, I’ll do it for free…)

L8r!
GSoloist

P.S. I’m kidding of course… I wouldn’t do it for free…

Ghidra

quote:
——
Originally posted by Mechanic502:
LOL…you actually sit in front of the mirror with your guitar making faces? That is fucking lame! LOL!!!!!!
——

How do you think James and dave look so pissed off when there playing guitar?! Everyone who plays guitar does this..I did come up with a cool face yesterday. if I cann get 2 mroe ill be happy and then I can start kicking ass!!! I just wish my forehead bruse wouldn’t heal. Than no one would fuck with me!

GSoloist

Actually, a forehead bruise just makes it look like you got your ass kicked… Not too good, bud…

L8r!
GSoloist

Xipe666

A good wall-mirror is every guitarists best friend. ? (Especially for the solo-monkeys – ever seen Zakk play? Alot of mirror time there, I betcha! ?)

I haven’t done it myself, but once I start playing more gigs I’m sure I will find myself in front of a mirror now and then training poses (don’t know about angry faces though ?).

As they say,
It’s not how you do it, it’s how good you look while you’re doing it. ?

‘banger

Dude, why do you have to post shit that obviously didn’t happen? Your floyd didn’t pop off your guitar and bash you in the head, and you didn’t fucking attempt to cut your guitar strings just now. It’s bullshit. I’m sorry if I’m the first to tell you, but this is not a roll playing board. You don’t make shit up just for the sake of posting.

Andy Oliphant
Sole Survivor

ImetMegadeth

I know sitting on your own testicles will put a mean look on your face

GSoloist

quote:
——
Originally posted by ‘banger:
Dude, why do you have to post shit that obviously didn’t happen? Your floyd didn’t pop off your guitar and bash you in the head, and you didn’t fucking attempt to cut your guitar strings just now. It’s bullshit. I’m sorry if I’m the first to tell you, but this is not a roll playing board. You don’t make shit up just for the sake of posting.

Andy Oliphant
Sole Survivor
——

Dude, I hope this doesn’t piss you off, but is this your board? Last I checked, it was Megadeth’s… I mean come on, part of human communication involves humor… If the guy wants to come on here and joke around, that’s his right unless somebody in charge says otherwise… Instead of getting pissed off about it, why don’t you join in with something whitty? Besides, it’s not like EVERY post on here is like that…

L8r!
GSoloist

Sinistas

I think it’s because of the passing off of humor as fact.

‘banger

This is the second thread he’s started that’s obviously a lie. That kinda pisses me off, yes.

Andy Oliphant
Sole Survivor

Anyway, this was a regular thing for quite a while, and I saved only a fraction of it all. I really hope there are backups out there somewhere.

Game Developer Confessions, Part 03: Behold! the Micro-NOC

Introducing the new Micro-NOC! Intel NUC7PJYH1 VM hosts, Intel NUC5PPYH web and game servers, Cisco managed Layer 2 switches, Synology NAS devices, SonicWall firewalls… and Linux, Linux and more Linux! (Batteries not included.)

You might be asking, what does this have to do with game development? Bedrock: cultivated workflow, scalable infrastructure, security, devops and—most importantly—sustainable technologies. Oh yeah… and all subdomains and servers are named after planets and characters in Metroid (respectively), which is fucking rad.

A Groan of Tedium Escapes Me

Group photo of the band Tool wearing old-fashioned clothes and striking poses. [Formatted]

Here are the runtimes for the non-noise tracks from Tool’s new Fear Inoculum album: 10:20, 11:53, 12:44, 13:37, 10:05, and 15:43. This means that the average song length is somewhere around 12 minutes and 24 seconds, which equates to the time needed for modern radio to play four complete songs. Another way of putting it is that these six Tool songs roughly translate to 24 Katy Perry or Blake Shelton songs.

I find it humorous that, when describing the album, many fans and critics are making statements along the lines of, “The songs don’t seem nearly as long as they really are!” This is a very peculiar sentence. I mean, what the hell does that even mean? It’s sort of like saying, “I was at the DMV for an hour and a half, but the door greeter was very sweet and made it feel like 20 mins.” Or, “I was sick to my stomach for four hours, but somebody brought me a ginger ale and then it seemed like only a fraction of that time.” Or maybe, “I dropped a bowling ball on my foot, but the cast they put on my leg was so great that it hurt for just three days afterwards!”

The point is, this is a statement a person would make to describe an experience where something unpleasant was happening, but there is a counteracting element that lessens the severity, or takes the edge off. In this case, six obscenely long and occasionally floundering songs somehow feel abbreviated, because… well… because it’s Tool! This is the band that made Opiate, Undertow, Ænima, and Lateralus!

As for Fear Inoculum, what’s the real verdict? Is it bad? No. Is it unremarkable? Yes—there really isn’t anything here that hasn’t been done better on the band’s previous albums. It hosts some nice sounds and textures, and never gets very rowdy. One of my close friends said it’s “pretty chill” and I will get on board with her assessment.

If they had churned this out 12 to 18 months after 2001’s Lateralus then there would be much to celebrate: it would be a triumphant exercise in writing and recording for a band that, even at the time, was notorious for taking too much time between recordings. However, it’s been a mind-blowing 13 YEARS since their last release and a staggering 18 YEARS since their last proper LP!

No dice, no pass… no fucking way.

Rip the Shroud Off a Decaying Society and Expose It for What It Is

Episode #5 icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (episode 05 of The Maxx icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Once upon a time, MTV would actually play awesome music videos and produce exceptional original programming, like the cartoon below. Yes, I know it sounds like I must be making this up, but it’s actually true!