Antiphony, Entry 6: The Act of Your Onanism

Subject: Hi, viсtim.
Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2018 10:57:38 -0700
From: oeaqjk <Janine@kanpurlive.com>

Hi, my sacrifice. [WTF?]

I write you inasmuch as I put a virus on the web site with porno which you have viewed. [Porno? I don't know what you're talking about. I have never looked at porno in my life.] My trojan captured all your private info [oh shit] and turned on your camera [damn!] which captured the act of your onanism. [No, not my onanism!!!] Just after that the virus saved your contact list. [Including my boss???] I will erase the compromising video records and data [oh please!!] if you send me 500 USD in bitcoin. [Hold on, I'm waiting to hear back from Capt. Patrick Williams of the US ARMY medical team! He has money for me!!] This is wallet address for payment: 1JcdSm3qyL1hKagL22z3grpVUkjX3Ez8v2 [Wait! I have no idea what this means!!!]

I give you 30h after you view my report for making the payment. [Ahhh!! Capt. Patrick isn't very punctual and he's been processing my personal information to get me my money!] As soon as you open the message I'll know it immediately. [..!] It is not necessary to tell me that you have sent money to me. [..!!] This wallet address is connected to you, my system will delete everything automatically after transfer confirmation. [AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!] If you need 48h just Open the calculator on your desktop and press +++ [WHICH ONE?!?!? MY COMPUTER HAS FOUR DIFFERENT CALCULATORS!] If you don't pay, I'll send dirt to all your contacts. [Oh please don't!!] Let me remind you-I see what you're doing! [STOP WATCHING ME!] You can visit the police office but nothing can't help you. If you attempt to deceive me , I'll see it immediately! [HOW DO I UNPLUG THIS HORRIBLE THING?!?!?!?!?] I don't live in your country. [Of course!! No american would ever do anything like this!!] So anybody can't track my location even for 9 months.

Goodbye for now. [WAIT! DON'T GO!! WHAT THE HELL IS A WALLET ADDRESS?????] Don't forget about the shame and to ignore, Your life can be ruined. [Why is this happening to me?!?! Things were going so well before you sent me this horrible email!!]

[Holy hell! I knew that midget website was a bad idea....]

On and On

Remembrance Day icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 08 from the Get Lucky LP by Mark Knopfler icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

On your maypole green, see the winding Morris-men
Angry Alfie, Bill and Ken—waving hankies, sticks and books
And there, all the earthen roofs

Standing at the crease, the batsman takes a look around
The boys are fielding on home ground
And there, the steeple is sharp against the blue

When I think of you, Sam and Andy, Jack and John, Charlie, Martin, Jamie, Ron, Harry, Stephen, Will and Don, Matthew, Michael…
On and on

We will remember them

Time has slipped away
The Summer sky to Autumn yields a haze of smoke across the fields
Let us sup and fight another round
And there, we walk the stubbled ground

When November brings the poppies on Remembrance Day
When the vicar comes to say, “May God bless them everyone, lest we forget our sons”

We will remember them

Echoes Moved Through the Hollow of the Arcade, Fading Down Corridors of Consoles

Excerpt from the novel Neuromancer icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 by William Gibson icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12

William Gibson's "Neuromancer" novel art. [Formatted]

     Rain woke him, a slow drizzle, his feet tangled in coils of discarded fiberoptics. The arcade’s sea of sound washed over him, receded, returned. Rolling over, he sat up and held his head.
     Light from a service hatch at the rear of the arcade showed him broken lengths of damp chipboard and the dripping chassis of a gutted game console. Streamlined Japanese was stenciled across the side of the console in faded pinks and yellows.
     He glanced up and saw a sooty plastic window, a faint glow of fluorescents.
     His back hurt, his spine.
     He got to his feet, brushed wet hair out of his eyes.
     Something had happened….
     He searched his pockets for money, found nothing, and shivered. Where was his jacket? He tried to find it, looked behind the console, but gave up.
     On Ninsei, he took the measure of the crowd. Friday. It had to be a Friday. Linda was probably in the arcade. Might have money, or at least cigarettes… Coughing, wringing rain from the front of his shirt, he edged through the crowd to the arcade’s entrance.
     Holograms twisted and shuddered to the roaring of the games, ghosts overlapping in the crowded haze of the place, a smell of sweat and bored tension. A sailor in a white t-shirt nuked Bonn on a Tank War console, an azure flash.
     She was playing Wizard’s Castle, lost in it, her gray eyes rimmed with smudged black paintstick.
     She looked up as he put his arm around her, smiled. “Hey. How you doin’? Look wet.”
     He kissed her.
     “You made me blow my game,” she said. “Look there, asshole. Seventh level dungeon and the goddam vampires got me.” She passed him a cigarette. “You look pretty strung, man. Where you been?”
     “I don’t know.”
     “You high, Case? Drinkin’ again? Eatin’ Zone’s dex?”
     “Maybe… how long since you seen me?”
     “Hey, it’s a put-on, right?” She peered at him. “Right?”
     “No. Some kind of blackout. I… I woke up in the alley.”
     “Maybe somebody decked you, baby. Got your roll intact?”
     He shook his head.
     “There you go. You need a place to sleep, Case?”
     “I guess so.”
     “Come on, then.” She took his hand. “We’ll get you a coffee and something to eat. Take you home. It’s good to see you, man.” She squeezed his hand.
     He smiled.
     Something cracked.
     Something shifted at the core of things. The arcade froze, vibrated—
     She was gone. The weight of memory came down, an entire body of knowledge driven into his head like a microsoft into a socket. Gone. He smelled burning meat.
     The sailor in the white t-shirt was gone. The arcade empty, silent. Case turned slowly, his shoulders hunched, teeth bared, his hands bunched into involuntary fists. Empty. A crumpled yellow candy wrapper, balanced on the edge of a console, dropped to the floor and lay amid flattened butts and styrofoam cups.
     “I had a cigarette,” Case said, looking down at his white-knuckled fist. “I had a cigarette and a girl and a place to sleep. Do you hear me, you son of a bitch? You hear me?”
     Echoes moved through the hollow of the arcade, fading down corridors of consoles.
     He stepped into the street. The rain had stopped.
     Ninsei was deserted.
     Holograms flickered, neon danced. He smelled boiled vegetables from a vendor’s pushcart across the street. An unopened pack of Yeheyuans lay at his feet, beside a book of matches. JULIUS DEANE IMPORT EXPORT. Case stared at the printed logo and its Japanese translation.
     “Okay,” he said, picking up the matches and opening the pack of cigarettes. “I hear you.”

Burgeoning Wealth of Medical Knowledge

I completed my first CPR icon-external-link-12x12 class over the weekend. It was not very hard: rapidly alternate between pressing firmly and releasing fully on a person’s lower sternum, 30 times, and then deliver two full breaths through the mouth/nose into the lungs. Use a defibrillator if available. Rinse/repeat. Oh yeah—and don’t forget to call 9-1-1 so that an ambulance is on its way, because they have stethoscopes and sphygmomanonamometers and shit.

I received this totally legit medical certificate and there wasn’t even a test! Why aren’t more classes like this? This medicine stuff is a piece of cake. Maybe I should have become a doctor.

CPR and AED certification card for Chad Johnson. Valid until October 2020.

Now that I know CPR, there are many more pretty ladies in the world that will be safe than there were before. And because I’m such a great guy, I am also willing to resuscitate babies… but only if they have a changed diaper, and aren’t ugly.