Word of the Day, Entry 4: Spoonerism

A spoonerism icon-external-link-12x12 is an error in speech in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see Metathesis icon-external-link-12x12) between two words in a phrase. These are named after the Oxford don and ordained minister William Archibald Spooner icon-external-link-12x12, who was famous for doing this.

An example is saying “The Lord is a shoving leopard” instead of “The Lord is a loving shepherd.” While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue, and getting one’s words in a tangle, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words.


For Thanksgiving 2018, I broke bread with dear friends from Butte County, some of whom were displaced by the Camp Fire icon-external-link-12x12. After dinner, there was an idea- and cheer-induced conversation on spoonerisms, which segued into humorous ponderings such as…

Why are bees kept in apiaries and apes kept in bestiaries?

Why do they call them apartments when they’re so close together?

Why does cargo go by boat, and a shipment go by cars and trucks?

Why do cars drive in parkways and park in driveways?

How much fuller would the ocean be if they removed all the sponges?

Why are there hysterectomies but no hyrsterectomies?

I then found out that at least one Gumby icon-external-link-12x12 picture—autographed by his creator, Art Clokey icon-external-link-12x12—has been lost forever, amongst many other cherished personal items earned over lifetimes.

By most measurements, Paradise, CA icon-external-link-12x12 doesn’t exist anymore. This was a community of about 30,000 people.

Here is some provincial hippie-art that survived the blaze:

And maybe you’re wondering what was in Paradise aside from old hippies. Well, Wayne icon-external-link-12x12 Charvel icon-external-link-12x12 lost his shop and all of his tools. If you were a guitarist, or a luthier, this news would make you sad.

I’m sure other national treasures existed in the area that were needlessly erased….

Word of the Day, Entry 3: Latchkey Kid

A latchkey kid icon-external-link-12x12, or latchkey child, is a child who returns from school to an empty home, or a child who is often left at home with little parental supervision, because their parent or parents are away at work.


In the background of my youth, I heard this term once or twice. It was foreign and seemed to be applied to children that were exposed to risk and thus nothing like me.

I was very closely and carefully supervised until about the age of about seven, but descended quickly and abruptly into a wide gulf of adult unsupervision. In just one year, I would find myself walking a nontrivial distance home from school to an empty house. Weekday afternoons from 2:30pm until about 5:30pm left me stranded with the undeveloped devices of an eight year old. My afternoons were typically spent watching cartoons, plinking away on the computer, playing video games, or reorganizing my baseball card collection. Because of syndicated reruns and a frustratingly meager weekly allowance, I frequently had to invent ways to moderate my time and occupy myself:

Preteen standing in front of an open refrigerator raising an upturned Hershey's chocolate squeeze bottle over his mouth with both hands. Liquid chocolate is pouring into his mouth. [Formatted]

(This actually wasn’t me. You see, my mother did not believe in sugar and so we never once had Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup in the fridge. If we did, it’s a certainty that I would have been doing this sort of thing, and also making chocolate milk sans kitchenware.)

There was, and still is, no shortage of latchkey kids in America, although it’s my understanding that they are not nearly as common as they used to be (see helicopter parents icon-external-link-12x12). What perhaps makes my experience more unique is that my parents decided to send my younger sister and brother to after-school daycare—both are my junior by 2 and 3.5 years, respectively. Apparently the “too young to be left home alone” marker for our parents rested somewhere between the ages of six and eight. For my siblings, after-school care continued well into middle school, yet I have been increasingly on my own since the beginning of fourth grade.

Nobody ever told me that I was a latchkey kid, nor did I develop a sense that any adults around me actively made the observation. If one of them did, it was never verbalized in my presence. Likewise, if an admonition was ever issued to my parents then I cannot detect that it registered with them. This sort of thing was just normal. It was a little scary, but also a little cool. And now that I finally know what the term means, I realize that it would not be inappropriate to change the name of this site to ChadSpace, Chad “Latchkey Kid” Johnson’s Website.

Word of the Day, Entry 2: Procrastination

procrastination
/prəˌkrastəˈnāSH(ə)n/
(noun)
     1. obtaining multiple points of knowledge or information that are of nearly equal relevance to a project or work and then waiting until the last minute of a deadline so as to afford the maximum amount of time to effectively determine those points which will produce results of a higher quality;
     2. a psychological condition in which a person consciously observes small but important components of life slip away on a routine basis and, in response, makes attempts to collect and restore as many of these components as possible to emerging moments;
     3. a behavior frequently misattributed to hard workers by less capable people having a limited purview or prone to conniving denigration;
     4. a word that cannot be said on television, especially children’s programming, because it rhymes with another word in the English language. Procrastination occurred all throughout the night until she finally felt something that resembled satisfaction.


Sooner or Later icon-external-link-12x12 (episode from Garfield and Friends icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 by Mark Evanier icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Wade the Duck and Roy the Rooster from the Garfield and Friends episode "Sooner or Later." [Formatted]

Word of the Day, Entry 1: Gaslighting

A benefit of growing one’s vocabulary is that words are sometimes discovered which identify esoteric feelings and experiences. Here’s an interesting one:

Gaslighting icon-external-link-12x12 or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

My most expensive life lesson will forever be about narcissistic Peruvian mafia princesses who like baseball and how they are experts at this deleterious form of personal treatment. I learned that some people simply get a charge out of discovering and then enacting whatever it takes to crack another person open.