Antiphony, Entry 1: Free Lottery Tickets

I’m not sure if this still works here since I am using ChadPress instead of Facebook, but I guess it can’t hurt to try.  Also, I have included some of my responses in the event that it increases my chances of winning.


THANK YOU, MARK ZUCKERBERG [who?], for your forward-thinking generosity! [What did he do?] And congrats on becoming a dad! [Huh?!]

Mark Zuckerberg [oh right... the Grand Poobah of privacy and productivity erosion] has announced that he is giving away $45 billion [with a "B"?] of Facebook stock. [Hhmmmm... sounds a little fishy to me.] What you may not have heard [no I haven't, must you go on?] is that he plans to give 10% of it away to people like YOU and ME! [Really..? What a dumbass!] All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY and tag 5-10 of your friends. [Or irritated acquaintances that don't really like you.] At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day’s posts and award 1000 people with $4.5 million EACH [that's really a lot of money] as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection and philanthropy [and watered down relationships].

I hope someone I know gets a piece of the pie [blueberry or apple?] — let me know if you do!!! [Yeah right, asshole!]


In case you’re wondering what this is about, you can read about it at The Washington Post and many other fine news agencies (that apparently have nothing better to report).