Shovelry is Not Dead

An Underlying Problem icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track from Shovel Knight icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 by Jake Kaufman icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 and Yacht Club Games icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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High Above the Land icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track from Shovel Knight icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )
Of Devious Machinations icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track from Shovel Knight icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Make Good (and Delicious) Choices

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I only drink ethical coffee icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 , because I am a person of high moral integrity, and because Folgers tastes like shit.

Extraordinary Appetites

Say hello to the Waffle-Taco, one of the more recent advancements in the culinary arts. This is sausage and egg folded neatly into a “Leggo my Eggo” waffle:

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Ever get tired of eating Seven-Layer Burritos before 10am? Well who doesn’t? As great as refried beans, ground beef and sour cream are right after rolling out of bed, sometimes they’re better saved for the afternoon and evening. Fortunately, Taco Bell has everyone covered with this ante meridiem treat.

Waffle-Tacos are not only delicious, but they are also very affordable. With a price tag of only 45 cents, everyone can partake. Also, if you happen to visit Taco Bell on the right day, customers will receive two servings for the price of one.

People couldn’t decide whether to put taco sauce or syrup on the Waffle-Taco, so the only reasonable solution was to use both. Tasting the unique mixture of waffle, egg, sausage, syrup and taco sauce is guaranteed to redefine the word “breakfast”. What’s even more amazing is that the 14-year-olds working at Taco Bell can somehow prepare one of these in less than 20 seconds.

I know what you’re thinking: “How do I get one of these as soon as possible?” Unfortunately, the Waffle-Taco isn’t available anymore because it was recently replaced by the fast-food chain’s next breakfast marvel: the Biscuit-Taco!

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No, the Biscuit-Taco is not just a reimagining of the Waffle-Taco in an attempt to ripoff McDonalds’ Egg McMuffin. There are two very important differences: 01) it is served to customers at a different angle, and 02) the taco shape is supposed to bring out more flavor in the biscuit, eggs and sausage. Another benefit is that you can put taco sauce on it, and this simply is not an option when dining at McDonalds.

What’s next for Taco Bell? Sources say that its latest breakfast invention is a Donut-Burrito: a syrup-glazed cake exterior surrounding double-helpings of eggs and bacon. This is expected to be available shortly after Jack In the Box reveals it’s new Bacon-Wrapped-Bacon Breakfast Bites, or BWBBB for short.

The Laugh that Love Could Not Forgive

Think of Me With Kindness icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 07 from the Octopus LP by Gentle Giant icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )
“Think of Me With Kindness” Song Lyrics icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12

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Aspirations icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 03 from The Power and the Glory LP)
“Aspirations” Song Lyrics icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12
His Last Voyage icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 05 from the Free Hand LP)
“His Last Voyage” Song Lyrics icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12