Blurring the Boundaries of Entertainment (and Good Taste)

Kraid’s Theme icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track from Metroid Metal by Stemage icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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Norfair icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track from Metroid Metal)
Brinstar icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track from Metroid Metal)


Metroid Metal icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 is one of the very few cases where two totally unrelated cool things were successfully combined together to produce something even cooler. That said, a person performing heavy metal renditions of video game songs almost always turns out poorly, and that’s how it should be.

It’s like putting scoops of chocolate ice cream on a pepperoni pizza—maybe it sounds like a good idea at first, but reality will quickly set in after scarfing a bite or two. Some things are just better kept separate from one another, and putting too much good stuff in one place can taint a person’s previous experiences and render future experiences as unpalatable, or even disagreeable.

For example, watching people icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 record themselves playing distortion-laden versions of video game songs and then uploading them to YouTube makes me hate heavy metal, video games, and the Internet all at the same time!

Software Malpractice

The technology industry oftentimes does a good job of making reasonable people feel like they are inept. Here is one example:

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Given that I am a mostly reasonable person, and that I was in a bit of a hurry, my brain processed the information contained in this picture in the following way:

  • Noticed “Yes” button and “No” button
  • Gaze drifted upward and read “Continue Working”
  • Clicked “No” button

I wanted the program to close, but the result of this action was that the program did not close: it stayed open.

Now consider the opposite and more dire case: if I had actually closed the program by accident, but wanted to keep it open, I would have clicked the “Yes” button and subsequently lost all my work. It is necessary to note that this is a warning message and was deliberately added to the software with the sole intention of keeping the user from accidentally losing work. The simplest of adjustments—or perhaps omissions is the more appropriate word in this case—would have prevented any and all confusion:

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Sadly, if I had called tech support in a blind rage to demand that they get my work back or refund my money, chances are pretty good that some dittohead would have told me that I didn’t stop and read the message, and this would have been true enough to divert any ownership of fault. Somehow poor planning and execution on the service provider’s part turns into the end-user’s mistake, and the total cost of ownership for the software increases in drastic and simultaneously nonquantifiable ways.

The Fever Pushing the Day By

Heart Attack in a Layby icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 10 from the In Absentia LP by Porcupine Tree icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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I pull off the road east of Baldock and Ashford
Feeling for my cell in the light from the dashboard

Hissing from the road, the smell of rain in the air-con
Maybe check the news or just put a tape on

Lighting up a smoke
I’ve got this feeling inside me, it don’t feel too good

If I close my eyes and fell asleep in this layby, would it all subside: the fever pushing the day by?

Motor-window wind, I could do with some fresh air
Can’t breathe too well

I guess I should go now—
She’s waiting to make up, to tell me she’s sorry, and how much she missed me
—I guess I’m just burnt out
I really should slow down
I’m perfectly fine, but I just need to lie down—

We will grow old together

She waits for me

Double-Standards and -Edges

Have you ever wondered why Prostate Cancer Awareness doesn’t receive as much attention as Breast Cancer Awareness? I think I have a pretty good idea what’s going on:

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When was the last time anybody looked at an enlarged prostate and got excited? (I want to say it’s never happened, but there are always a few sickos out there for anything and everything.) I’m pretty sure this is why the world outwardly celebrates boobies for the entire month of October, yet Prostate Cancer Awareness happens for something like 45 minutes in September, or maybe it’s March—really, who the fuck knows?

Breasts don’t have any undesirable qualities, as far as I can tell, but prostates… blech! I don’t even want to even think about it.