Software Malpractice

The technology industry oftentimes does a good job of making reasonable people feel like they are inept. Here is one example:

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Given that I am a mostly reasonable person, and that I was in a bit of a hurry, my brain processed the information contained in this picture in the following way:

  • Noticed “Yes” button and “No” button
  • Gaze drifted upward and read “Continue Working”
  • Clicked “No” button

I wanted the program to close, but the result of this action was that the program did not close: it stayed open.

Now consider the opposite and more dire case: if I had actually closed the program by accident, but wanted to keep it open, I would have clicked the “Yes” button and subsequently lost all my work. It is necessary to note that this is a warning message and was deliberately added to the software with the sole intention of keeping the user from accidentally losing work. The simplest of adjustments—or perhaps omissions is the more appropriate word in this case—would have prevented any and all confusion:

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Sadly, if I had called tech support in a blind rage to demand that they get my work back or refund my money, chances are pretty good that some dittohead would have told me that I didn’t stop and read the message, and this would have been true enough to divert any ownership of fault. Somehow poor planning and execution on the service provider’s part turns into the end-user’s mistake, and the total cost of ownership for the software increases in drastic and simultaneously nonquantifiable ways.

The Fever Pushing the Day By

Heart Attack in a Layby icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 10 from the In Absentia LP by Porcupine Tree icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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I pull off the road east of Baldock and Ashford
Feeling for my cell in the light from the dashboard

Hissing from the road, the smell of rain in the air-con
Maybe check the news or just put a tape on

Lighting up a smoke
I’ve got this feeling inside me, it don’t feel too good

If I close my eyes and fell asleep in this layby, would it all subside: the fever pushing the day by?

Motor-window wind, I could do with some fresh air
Can’t breathe too well

I guess I should go now—
She’s waiting to make up, to tell me she’s sorry, and how much she missed me
—I guess I’m just burnt out
I really should slow down
I’m perfectly fine, but I just need to lie down—

We will grow old together

She waits for me

Double-Standards and -Edges

Have you ever wondered why Prostate Cancer Awareness doesn’t receive as much attention as Breast Cancer Awareness? I think I have a pretty good idea what’s going on:

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When was the last time anybody looked at an enlarged prostate and got excited? (I want to say it’s never happened, but there are always a few sickos out there for anything and everything.) I’m pretty sure this is why the world outwardly celebrates boobies for the entire month of October, yet Prostate Cancer Awareness happens for something like 45 minutes in September, or maybe it’s March—really, who the fuck knows?

Breasts don’t have any undesirable qualities, as far as I can tell, but prostates… blech! I don’t even want to even think about it.

I Keep On Going, Guess I’ll Never Know Why

Life’s Been Good icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 08 from the But Seriously, Folks… LP by Joe Walsh icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

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I have a mansion, but forget the price
Ain’t never been there, they tell me it’s nice
I live in hotels and tear out the walls
I have accountants that pay for it all

They say I’m crazy, but I have a good time
I’m just looking for clues at the scene of the crime

Life’s been good to me so far

My Maserati does one-eighty-five
I lost my license and now I don’t drive
I have a limo, I ride in the back
I lock the doors in case I’m attacked

I make hit records, my fans they can’t wait
They write me letters and tell me I’m great
I got me an office, gold records on the wall
Just leave a message, maybe I’ll call

Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through
Everybody say “I’m cool”, “He’s cool!”
I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do

Life’s been good to me so far

I go to parties, sometimes until four
It’s hard to leave when you can’t find the door
It’s tough to handle this fortune and fame
Everybody is so different, I haven’t changed

They say I’m lazy, but it takes all my time
Everybody say “Oh, yeah”, “Oh, yeah!”
I keep on going, guess I’ll never know why

Life’s been good to me so far

(Uh oh, here comes a flock of wah-wahs)