Antiphony, Entry 2: Awkward Love Letter

My fellow Americans,

     It’s a long-standing tradition for the sitting president of the United States to leave a parting letter in the Oval Office for the American elected to take his or her place. [That makes sense.] It’s a letter meant to share what we know, what we’ve learned, and what small [small?] wisdom may help our successor bear the great responsibility [!] that comes with the highest office in our land, [he must not be talking about elevation here] and the leadership of the free world.

     But before I leave my note for our 45th president, [no shit, who wants to talk to that asshole?] I wanted to say one final thank you for the honor of serving as your 44th. [Aawwww, that's so sweet of you!] Because all that I’ve learned in my time in office, I’ve learned from you. [Really..?] You made me a better President, and you made me a better man. [I did?]

     Throughout these eight years, you have been the source of goodness, resilience, and hope from which I’ve pulled strength. [You know that I haven't always liked you, right?] I’ve seen neighbors and communities take care of each other during the worst economic crisis of our lifetimes. [Yes, but when have people not done this?] I have mourned with grieving families searching for answers — and found grace in a Charleston church. [Haha! That dude is toast!]

     I’ve taken heart from the hope of young graduates and our newest military officers. [Yup.] I’ve seen our scientists help a paralyzed man regain his sense of touch, [mmm hmmm...] and wounded warriors once given up for dead walk again. [Sweet!] I’ve seen Americans whose lives have been saved because they finally have access to medical care, [yeah, sort of] and families whose lives have been changed because their marriages are recognized as equal to our own. [Yeah, but we should have just removed the word "marriage" from all federal legal documents, so you fucked this one up, chief.] I’ve seen the youngest of children remind us through their actions and through their generosity of our obligations to care for refugees, [give them a little time, that'll change] or work for peace, [huh?] and, above all, to look out for each other. [I don't look out for others.]

     I’ve seen you, the American people, [yeah, yeah] in all your decency [ugh], determination, [hmmmplf..!] good humor, [HrmmPhmmlfl.!] and kindness. [BLARFFF!] And in your daily acts of citizenship, I’ve seen our future unfolding. [Did you see that?!!]

     All of us, regardless of party, [gimmee a break] should throw ourselves into that work — the joyous work of citizenship. [Does volunteering at Amway count?] Not just when there’s an election, [once every four years is not enough?] not just when our own narrow interest is at stake, [how dare you say my interests are narrow!] but over the full span of a lifetime. [WTF man? I still haven't had a chance to watch the last season of Game of Thrones.]

     I’ll be right there with you every step of the way. [...]

     And when the arc of progress seems slow, [yes, it has been pretty slow lately now that you mention it] remember: America is not the project of any one person. The single most powerful word in our democracy is the word ‘We.’ ‘We the People.’ ‘We shall overcome.’ ["Divided we fall, united we stand." Isn't that how it goes?]

     Yes, we can. [Mr. President, please just shut up and go away already.]


A copy of Mr. President’s banal, unmolested letter can be found at archives.gov: https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/blog/2017/01/19/thank-you

Bay Area Flavor

Over the last eight years, a number of Bay Area highways refreshed their Adopt-A-Highway signs with statements like FRIENDS OF BARACK OBAMA. For right-wingers, I can’t help but wonder if these read very much like: ATTENTION REPUBLICANS: IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN AROUND.

Word on the street (or highway, har har) is that in January, when Barack Obama exits the White House, the signs will be changed to the following:

While a statement such as SWORN ENEMIES OF TRUMP may seem extreme to people unfamiliar with life in the Bay Area, the gentleman who flew a Nazi flag icon-external-link-12x12 over his San Francisco residence following the election of Donald Trump would probably prefer it if these signs were less subtle in their delivery. I’m guessing something along the lines of DONALD TRUMP IS THE REINCARNATION OF ADOLF HITLER!!!11 would more accurately reflect his temperment.

And oh yeah… where the hell did this guy get a Nazi flag from so quickly after the election?!? Did a Chic Wehrmacht Boutique open recently in the Castro district or something?