Thanks to CNN and other leading news organizations for doing a damn fine job of making the 2020 presidential election feel like a heavyweight matchup. And not just a heavyweight matchup, but one on which the vast majority of Americans bet their next three rent/mortgage payments.
Also, what in the name of Nicholas Cage’s butthole is wrong with the mainstream polling systems? For months, countless voices in the media have congratulated themselves on their “highly accurate data” and so they were quick to make confident (but in actuality boisterous) claims that Joe Biden would handily defeat Donald Trump. Yet, just the preliminary results of the 2020 election exposed how horribly and embarrassingly wrong they all were—and are.
Oh wait—isn’t this the second consecutive presidential election where something like this has happened? Remember the general narrative back in 2016 and how certain everyone was that Hillary Clinton would win mostly uncontested? There were news reports, professional articles, opinion pieces, political advertisements, oodles of fucking polls, and cartoons like the one below, all of which formed a potent cocktail of assurances that the Democratic Party would be victorious.
Don’t like Trump? Well, if you’re not an idiot then you should have at least an equal amount of malcontent right now for the spoon-fed garbage you have been consuming from your favorite news outlet(s) for the last 6+ months. In fact, now would be an excellent time to begin removing your head from your ass so that you can attempt an objective reassessment of what the hell you were just put through (and of those organizations whom are most responsible for putting you through it).
Confirmation bias is a thing, folks—but at such high stakes it only works if you’re not also inept.
Alec Baldwin pled guilty yesterday to a harassment violation in New York. He was accused of punching a man over a parking dispute. This is funny.
As many people know, Mr. Baldwin has gotten a lot of attention in the last couple years for parodying Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live . How perfect would it be if SNL invited Donald Trump to play a boiling-over Alec Baldwin in a skit about his recent NYC parking dispute?
Unfortunately, the producers at NBC and SNL would never in a million years allow something like this to happen, even though it is EXACTLY what they should do.
Over the last eight years, a number of Bay Area highways refreshed their Adopt-A-Highway signs with statements like FRIENDS OF BARACK OBAMA. For right-wingers, I can’t help but wonder if these read very much like: ATTENTION REPUBLICANS: IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN AROUND.
Word on the street (or highway, har har) is that in January, when Barack Obama exits the White House, the signs will be changed to the following:
While a statement such as SWORN ENEMIES OF TRUMP may seem extreme to people unfamiliar with life in the Bay Area, the gentleman who flew a Nazi flag over his San Francisco residence following the election of Donald Trump would probably prefer it if these signs were less subtle in their delivery. I’m guessing something along the lines of DONALD TRUMP IS THE REINCARNATION OF ADOLF HITLER!!!11 would more accurately reflect his temperment.
And oh yeah… where the hell did this guy get a Nazi flag from so quickly after the election?!? Did a Chic Wehrmacht Boutique open recently in the Castro district or something?
Last week, the city of San Francisco passed a resolution that was more or less a declaration of intent to maintain its position as the most forward-thinking and progressive community in the world, despite the impending presidency of reality TV star Donald Trump.
In other news, the sky is blue, there are 26 letters in the English alphabet, and yuppies like drinking lattes.