Antiphony, Entry 4: Dubious Criminal Ways

From: Gerry Rice
Sent: February 12, 2018 12:19:35 AM PST
To: Recipients
Subject: Urgent Attention needed...

Dear Beneficiary, [Holy shit! Gerry Rice is emailing me!]

This is to officially inform you that an ATM Card that worth USD $2.5 Million [did you say 2.5 million dollars?] (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) [okay, I guess you did, Mr. Rice] has been issued as a compensation payment for all the short listed [I'm never short listed, dude] 2012 till date scam victims [oh wait, is being on a short list a good thing?] whose email address was recovered during the recent internet probing and investigation process. [Now is probably a good time to tell you that I don't like probings of any kind.] Your email address was found among the list [the list? what list???] so we are in no doubt believed that those syndicates [wtf man? syndicates?!] must have collected monies from you through their dubious criminal ways. [Dubious criminals are definitely the worst kind of criminals.]

It was on these very recommendation that the International Monetary Fund (IMF) [whoa! the IMF!] in conjunction with the United State Government [whoa!! the US government!!] after series of meeting held came up with a sanction to compensate all foreign victims [I'm not a foreigner, does this disqualify me?] with a payment benefit of USD $2.5 Million [oooh the things I could do with that kind of money...] (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) [...like buy my own helicopter!] each in order to restore the Global Economy to the enviable standard of respectability. [The Enviable Standard of Respectability!! Hey, that sounds like an album title!] Please note that upon receipt of your response we will process and send you ATM Card Payment and you will use it to withdraw your money in any ATM machine in any part of the world, [damn, my bank only allows me to withdraw $1000 per day from the ATM... this is going to be a grind] so if you like to receive your fund send us the following information;

1. Full Name: [Chad Philip Johnson]
2. Phone Number: [1-800-DEEZ-NUTZ]
3. Mailing Address: [12345 Wysteria Lane, Fantasy Land, CA]
4. Occupation: [Professional Occupier]
5. Send your ID card to confirm your name. [Okay... I will send this to you after I finish reading about all the other things I've won today.]

Your immediate compliance to this will expedite actions on your Payment because here in this office, we have a lot of listed victims to be settled. [Yes, the world is unfortunately full of victims.]

Mr. Gerry Rice [Gerry, you're awesome!! The 49ers suck shit without you!]
FOR International Monetary Fund. [The IMF rulz!]

Just Deserts

Excerpt from the novel The Stand icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 by Stephen King icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12

     Irma Fayette lived in Lodi, California. She was a lady of twenty-six, a virgin, morbidly afraid of rape. Her life had been one long nightmare since June twenty-third, when looting had broken out in town and there had been no police to stop the looters. Irma had a small house on a side-street; her mother had lived there with her until she had died of a stroke in 1985. When the looting began, and the gunshots, and the horrifying sound of drunken men roaring up and down the streets of the main business section on motorcycles, Irma had locked all the doors and then had hidden in the spare room downstairs. Since then she had crept upstairs periodically, quiet as a mouse, to get food or to relieve herself.
     Irma didn’t like people. If everyone on earth had died but her, she would have been perfectly happy. But that wasn’t the case. Only yesterday, after she had begun cautiously to hope that no one was left in Lodi but her, she had seen a gross and drunken man, a hippie man in a T-shirt that said I GAVE UP SEX AND DRINKING AND IT WAS THE SCARIEST 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE, wandering up the street with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He had long blond hair which cascaded out from under the gimme cap he was wearing and all the way down to his shoulders. Tucked into the waistband of his tight bluejeans was a pistol. Irma had peeked around the bedroom curtain at him until he was out of sight and then had scurried downstairs to the barricaded spare room as if she had been released from a malign spell.
     They were not all dead. If there was one hippie man left, there would be other hippie men. And they would all be rapers. They would rape her. Sooner or later they would find her and rape her.
     This morning, before first light, she had crept up to the attic, where her father’s few possessions were stored in cardboard boxes. Her father had been a merchant seaman. He had deserted Irma’s mother in the late sixties. Irma’s mother had told Irma all about it. She had been perfectly frank. Her father had been a beast who got drunk and then wanted to rape her. They all did. When you got married, that gave a man the right to rape you anytime he wanted. Even in the daytime. Irma’s mother always summed up her husband’s desertion in three words, the same words Irma could have applied to the death of almost every man, woman, and child on the face of the earth: “No great loss.”
     Most of the boxes contained nothing but cheap trinkets bought in foreign ports—Souvenir of Hong Kong, Souvenir of Saigon, Souvenir of Copenhagen. There was a scrapbook of photographs. Most of them showed her father on ship, sometimes smiling into the camera with his arms about the shoulders of his fellow beasts. Well, probably the disease that they were calling Captain Trips out here had struck him down in whatever place he had run off to. Not great loss.
     But there was one wooden box with small gold hinges on it, and in this box was a gun. A .45 caliber pistol. It lay on red velvet, and in a secret compartment below the red velvet were some bullets. They were green and mossy-looking, but Irma thought they would work all right. Bullets were metal. They didn’t spoil like milk or cheese.
     She loaded the gun under the single cobwebby attic bulb, and then went down to eat her breakfast at her own kitchen table. She would not hide like a mouse in a hole any longer. She was armed. Let the rapers beware.
     That afternoon she went out on the front porch to read her book. The name of the book was Satan Is Alive and Well on the Planet Earth. It was grim and joyful stuff. The sinners and the ingrates had gotten their just deserts, just as the book said they would. They were all gone. Except for a few hippie rapers, and she guessed she could handle them. The gun was by her side.
     At two o’clock the man with the blond hair came back. He was so drunk he could hardly stand up. He saw Irma and his face lighted, no doubt thinking of how lucky he had been to finally discover some “pussy.”
     “Hey, baby!” he cried. “It’s just you and me! How long—” Then terror clouded his face as he saw Irma put down her book and raise the .45.
     “Hey, listen, put that thing down… is it loaded? Hey—!
     Irma pulled the trigger. The pistol exploded, killing her instantly. No great loss.

This Light is Not My Own

Reflection icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 11 from the Lateralus LP by Tool icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Tool's "Lateralus" album cover. [Formatted]

I have come curiously close to the end
Down beneath my self-indulgent and pitiful hole, I am defeated
I concede and move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful

This is killing me

Then in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping, the moon tells me a secret—my confidant
“As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own: a million light-reflections pass over me”

Revealed, the source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her we are lifeless satellites, drifting

So as I pull my head out, I am without doubt
I do not want to be down here soothing my narcissism
I must crucify the ego before it is too late
I pray the light lifts me out before I pine away

Crucify the ego before it is too late
Leave behind the place that is negative, blind and cynical
Then you will come to find that we are all one mind, capable of all that is imagined and conceivable

Let the light touch you
Let the words spill through
Let them pass right through
Bringing out Our hope and reason

Before we pine away

Mention Something, Mention Anything

Disposition icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 10 from the Lateralus LP by Tool icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Tool's "Lateralus" album cover. [Formatted]

Mention this to me and watch the weather change

Mention this to me
Mention something
Mention anything

Mention this to me and watch the weather change