Lessons in Humor, Entry 1: Wonton Chips & Salsa

Mural of a Chinese landscape populated with panda bears, but sombreros and tacos have been painted over parts of the pandas. [Formatted]


Is this funny?
How can you even ask such a question? It is fuckin’ hilarious!

Isn’t this cultural insensitive?
Yes, the cultural insensitivity here is off the charts.

If it’s so culturally insensitive then why is it okay to laugh?
Because of the inherent absurdity of it all. A great many restaurants in America serving ethnic food—or some facsimile of it—are culturally insensitive simply by existing. (Taco Bell, anyone? “Live Mas” and “Make a Run for the Border”!) Something like this exposes how silly all of us really are, and should also call into question the recent rise in popularity of righteous indignation.

I like being righteously indignant; it makes me feel important. Instead of laughing, shouldn’t I fly off the handle and punish the world for this mural’s existence?
If shaking your head while laughing is not enough then by all means… knock yourself out. Just don’t expect reasonable people to pay you much mind.

Tears Have Filled My Bong

Check My Brain icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 02 from the Black Gives Way to Blue LP by Alice in Chains icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Alice in Chains' "Black Gives Way to Blue" album cover. [Formatted]

So I found myself in the sun
It’s a hell of a place to end a run

California, I’m fine
Somebody check my brain
California is all right
Somebody check my brain

Check my brain

I walk these streets, I creep and I fall
And when she sang, I answered the call

California, I’m fine
Somebody check my brain
California is all right
Somebody check my brain

Tears have filled my bong
Years expended—gone

I hung my guns and put em away
A trick of the trade, and by the way

California, I’m fine
Somebody check my brain
California is all right
Somebody check my brain

Tears have filled my bong
Years expended—gone

Check my brain

When Our Worlds Fall Apart

Halo icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 (track 04 from the Violator LP by Depeche Mode icon-external-link-12x12 icon-search-12x12 )

Depeche Mode's "Violator" album cover. [Formatted]

You wear guilt like shackles on your feet
Like a halo in reverse

I can feel the discomfort in your seat
In your head, it’s worse

There is a pain
A famine in your heart
An aching to be free

Can’t you see?
All of love’s luxuries are here for you and me

When our worlds fall apart
When the walls come tumbling in
Although we may deserve it, it will be worth this

Bring your chains
Your lips of tragedy
Fall into my arms

When our worlds fall apart
When the walls come tumbling in
Although we may deserve it, it will be worth this

Senseless Sensationalism and Erroneous Echo Chambers

CNN advertisement for the 2020 presidential race. [Formatted]

Thanks to CNN and other leading news organizations for doing a damn fine job of making the 2020 presidential election feel like a heavyweight matchup. And not just a heavyweight matchup, but one on which the vast majority of Americans bet their next three rent/mortgage payments.

Also, what in the name of Nicholas Cage’s butthole is wrong with the mainstream polling systems? For months, countless voices in the media have congratulated themselves on their “highly accurate data” and so they were quick to make confident (but in actuality boisterous) claims that Joe Biden would handily defeat Donald Trump. Yet, just the preliminary results of the 2020 election exposed how horribly and embarrassingly wrong they all were—and are.

Oh wait—isn’t this the second consecutive presidential election where something like this has happened? Remember the general narrative back in 2016 and how certain everyone was that Hillary Clinton would win mostly uncontested? There were news reports, professional articles, opinion pieces, political advertisements, oodles of fucking polls, and cartoons like the one below, all of which formed a potent cocktail of assurances that the Democratic Party would be victorious.

Cartoon of a Mortal Kombat character resembling Scorpion or Sub-Zero saying "Finish him" to Hillary Clinton behind the curtain of a debate stage. [Formatted]

Don’t like Trump? Well, if you’re not an idiot then you should have at least an equal amount of malcontent right now for the spoon-fed garbage you have been consuming from your favorite news outlet(s) for the last 6+ months. In fact, now would be an excellent time to begin removing your head from your ass so that you can attempt an objective reassessment of what the hell you were just put through (and of those organizations whom are most responsible for putting you through it).

Confirmation bias icon-external-link-12x12 is a thing, folks—but at such high stakes it only works if you’re not also inept.